New Blog, New Season

      Hey everyone!

     I've been thinking and praying for awhile about starting a new blog so here it is.  When I started my old blog in 2012, the purpose was to keep everyone updated in one place of everything that was going on with my health and also give myself an outlet to share more of our story.  It's crazy, but that is now 13 years ago--they say time goes faster and faster as you get older, and that is oh so true.  I just did the math (with a calculator--those who know me will laugh 😂) and I was 28--still in my 20's!  Being in my 40's now, it's just weird...age doesn't bother me--I'm that much closer to heaven, but I'm used to young families being our peer group and a couple years ago as Jord and I were talking about what to do for our 20th wedding anniversary that was this past December, we were having dinner with some friends from church with a couple young kids and Kayla goes, "I could have been your flower girl...I was 3 in 2004!"  Well doesn't that put things into perspective!  😂 Another time, I was talking to another friend, Alicia, in bible study and we found out we are both February birthdays and I said, "Yeah, next year, I'll be the big 4-0" to which she replied, "Next year I'll be the big 2-0"....and I was like, "What?? You are 20 years younger than me??!!"

     Not having kids has taken away some of that "natural aging" where you do things with people with kids your age.  Jord and I do things with all different people and it's a joy and a blessing.  But I digress...As my blog went along, it kind of became a sort of "online journal" and I would have seasons where I would write a lot, especially if I was hospitalized or had a lot of significant health things going on, and then a year could go by, or even more, without a single post.  It morphed and evolved into all sorts of things and so I thought instead of trying to change that one, it was time to close the page on that one, and start fresh, with a similar purpose, but also different.  

     Lord willing, this blog will be more focused and not so "all over the place".  I will still use it to do health updates, which is becoming more necessary again as I am once more in a season of health upheaval--I have surgery coming up on March 31sth and a slew of tests and doctors appointments before we get there, so updating here will be easier than doing a facebook post and then creating a text thread and copying/pasting and then forgetting who I've told what, who has facebook and who doesn't, and this just streamlines that process and makes it easier for those that want to stay updated on all the health stuff.

     Secondly, the title is very purposeful--it comes from Psalm 18 and how God has worked in my life and literally, "illumines my darkness".  In the fall of 2012, shortly after I started my old blog, I went through my very first severe depression and had no idea what was going on.  One of the verses that was instrumental in helping start the slow climb out of that first dark, miry, pit of despair was Psalm 18:28-30 "For You light my lamp; Yahweh my God illumines my darkness.  For by You I can run upon a troop and by my God I can leap over a wall.  As for God, His way is blameless.  The Word of Yahweh is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him."  God has shown Himself faithful to this promise over and over again throughout the last 13 years and I'd like to share more of that here and in more detail.  Jord teases me that I know how to make a short story long, which is true, but God is in the details my friends--He orchestrates everything in our lives--from the difficult, seemingly insurmountable trials, to the mundane everyday things like getting stopped at your 15th red light on your drive home.  No matter what is going on in your life, you can be sure that God is at work, bringing light to darkness--and sometimes that's the darkness of our own hearts and we don't always like God revealing what's going on in our hearts, but it is necessary and good and ultimately for His glory.

     Finally, many people over the years have asked if I had ever thought about writing a book--the first being a Pastor in 2010 right after my first psychosis when I almost died at 26.  I've prayed a lot over the years and said I was going to do it and in 2013 when we were in Great Falls, MT I even went through all my journals form childhood on up and wrote what I thought at the time would be the first three chapters and had my English teacher from high school, Mrs. McCoy, read them and give me feedback and I remember her saying, "Write, Rachelle, write!" but I never got past those three chapters.  We moved back to AZ and kept moving and kept enduring trials and growing and I would journal or write on my blog and made some iMovies for family, which kind of became a creative outlet and took a lot of my "rest" time that I had spent writing in the past.  

     Over the last couple of years, I've talked to friends here in Alabama, and one in particular has continued to ask about it and one morning at church we were talking about it and I shared that I had been praying but was concerned with writing an autobiography of the temptation to glorify myself--as a kid I got lots of attention for my medical stuff and even as a young believer I remember at one point recognizing that my identity had been in "Rachelle is always happy going through her health trials" instead of my identity solely be in Christ alone.  He proposed an idea of going back and thinking about the scripture God has used in my life and using that as kind of an outline and something clicked and that got my wheels turning--not only has God used scripture, but He's used music and people and sermons and books and YouTube videos and even encouraging posts on Facebook to sanctify Jord and I through the many fiery trials we have walked through.  Jord and I have talked a lot about it and I think it's finally time...so thank you, Adam, for the suggestion, and for the encouragement to write. 

     One of my ideas towards that end with this blog is that as I'm going through my old blog and journals and sermon notes or impactful YouTube videos is  that I can share those old stories and poems and moments over the years here as I go,  as well as my current updates and just see where God takes it--as Mom T says, "Pray and go."  So, ready or not, here we go!

I managed to capture this amazing shot today as we took a Sunday afternoon drive with Blue and what will become cotton fields are covered with wild purple flowers and the sun was starting to set and so I was just taking a bunch of pictures that I couldn't even really see because the sun was so bright...love when God displays His glory and allows us to capture those moments!

This was the view from our room celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary in Nashville.