Dreamer and Promise…the end of an Era

If you know me at all, you know how important horses have been in my life. Mom held me on a horse the day I came home from the hospital at 9 days old and I don’t remember not knowing how to ride. My first gymkhana (barrel race) I was 5. Before I came to Christ at 16, horses were my god. I would rather go clean my horses pen than do anything in the kitchen lol—I’m a country girl through and through. God blessed me with my horse, Buddy, that I got when I was 13 and he was 3 and I trained him from the ground up and was blessed to have him for 24 years. We had to put him down 2 weeks before we moved to Huntsville. Mom and Dad kept him and took care of him for me at her house since we couldn’t afford his care or have a place for him, except for a short time when we moved him to MT with me. I had known he wasn’t doing well before we moved, but hadn’t wanted to pray that God would take him, but God knows the desires of our hearts, and I’m so thankful that I was able to be with him to the end of his journey. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done…and I’m asking for prayers for my family, especially my sister tomorrow, as she’s had to make that devastating decision to put her horse, Dreamer, down. 😭😭😭

Dreamer is younger but has a degenerative ligament disease and last week when my brother in law, Kyle, was trimming her feet she fell and that was the final straw for Jenny. Back in December, my Mom had to make the same choice for Promise, Dreamer’s half sister, because of the same ligament disease. I’m going home later this month for a wedding and it was already going to be emotional without Promise there for the first time, as she’s who I always rode when I visited. Now Dreamer will be gone too and it truly feels like the end of an era for me as they were the last two horses that I really have a bond with and spent a lot of time with while we still lived in AZ.

Death is so hard and always a stark reminder of the consequences of sin—death is here because of sin and all of creation “has been subjected to futility” but thankfully there IS a Day coming when Jesus will come back to set everything aright and death will be no more! O for That Day!

I’m thankful for the memories and for God’s gift of horses—they are incredible majestic animals that He didn’t have to give us to enjoy. I’m thankful that I was privileged enough to grow up in a family that was able to own them and experience all that I experienced with them—they are a large part of who I am today. There were times I was so sick and was in a wheelchair and couldn’t walk well due to vertigo but Buddy gave me wings. My sister had enough time to get some “goodbye” pictures taken and the one that wrecked me the most is one of my nephew Hunter hugging on her with my sister looking at him…it’s so similar to a memory emblazoned in my brain from the night we put Buddy down. Hunter was only 6 at the time and he had his arms wrapped around Buddy’s front leg bawling and Kyle had to pull him away as it was time, and he says, “I’ll never forget you.” 😭😭😭 Life is so hard sometimes and I have shed many tears lately for different reasons and I came across a verse in Psalm 116:8 that I had never noticed before that says, “He rescues my soul from death, my eyes from tears…”. God is so gracious to rescue our souls from death but then just that picture of rescuing my eyes from tears—One Day I will cry my last tear and see my Savior face to face and never have to think of death again—so grateful I have that hope to cling to because of Christ in these moments. Until that Day, we press on!

Thank you for praying—my sister and I were talking the other day and she said through tears, “I’m counting my blessings because a friend just lost their 13 year old in an accident and a client of mine’s 3 year old daughter came home on hospice needing a heart and lung transplant. As hard as it will be to say goodbye to that golden palomino out there, she’s not a kid and I have 3 beautiful healthy boys.” Dreamer isn’t human, but she’s impacted our family in so many ways and will be missed. I video chatted my goodbye earlier and we bawled together….here are some pics of me saying my goodbyes to Promise and Dreamer and some pics of me and my sis riding Buddy and Dreamer. Thank you Lord, that You entrusted us with these incredibly special horses and gave such sweet memories—they are truly gifts that You didn’t have to give!