Hey everyone…it’s been a crazy few days since making it home. With people moving us while I was hospitalized, we lost track of a lot of things as I wasn’t there to pack up the last minute stuff so I knew where it was. Our space was absolute chaos lol—I’m super grateful to everyone that helped Jord cause he was overwhelmed with me being gone and coordinating the move and getting our house ready for the buyer. Tuesday night I had my major meltdown on the poor guy—I thought I was gonna crash and meltdown in the hospital and I did have some emotional nights, but it was more the silent tears you can’t stop. This was full on sobbing, can’t talk, can’t stop meltdown. It was the culmination of SO many emotions and new scary hard information to process. Paul, our Pastor, spoke at a conference on suffering a couple years ago in Texas and I’ve listened to it a couple times—he shares about when Julie, his wife, was diagnosed with colon cancer when their kids were very young…and the words that came to mind from that sermon was, “We got the news and we wept together.” It’s the time in this moment to mourn the progression of my PCD, but then as John Piper says, “Grieve the loss but then get back up and live the life God has put before you.” (That is more paraphrase than quote) God gave us emotions for a reason—we need to feel them but we can venture into sinful territory when we let them rule us. So it’s “time to cry” as we process all the things but we can’t stay there—Jesus is interceding for us and as hard as this road is, He will be with us every step of the way………..Wednesday Hannah Payton came here and was here from 10-6:30 helping unpack and organize. Thursday, a new home health nurse came to see me to draw labs (my regular nurse was working in the office preparing for an audit.) and so that took longer and so treatments were late. I walked Blue and worked on her dog reactivity with another friend from church that lives in the neighborhood, Whitney…she was a vet tech and is on Rover (I think) but does a lot of dog sitting so we got to chat and catch up as she has a lot of health issues too. It’s nice to be in the same neighborhood—there are 4 other families from church that live here so it’s super fun. Mom took Hannah Rukhala to clean our old house to get it ready for final walk through (Wednesday and Thursday—she did an amazing job!) and then Jord and I went over and got a couple things out of the backyard and took some pictures and I wrote a note to the buyer and we gave her a small bag of the birdseed that drew all the birds we loved watching everyday. Jord being Jord wanted to test it so we bought 7 different bags of birdseed and put it out at the same time and saw which disappeared the fastest lol so that’s what we got and the birds loved it!…..
Pictures of my favorite things about our house—the yard, sunsets, beautiful flowers and plants, my kitchen, fireplace, and tub…man starting to tear up just writing this—it’s bittersweet—we have moved a lot but our Catalina house (the first 5 years of our marriage, and a few years in the middle) and this house have been my two favorites…both have in common that we added on to the Catalina house and this one we built so it was tailored to us and both also had a decent sized lot and beautiful outdoor features—the Catalina house had the Catalina Mountains that were the background for my entire childhood (my Great Grandparents bought a home near where ours was in the 1960’s there and that’s where our entire huge extended family would gather for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and an untold number of fish fries over the years) and then this house had our amazing backyard with our own woods and birds and grass and flowers…both homes hold good and hard memories…the first we celebrated our first anniversary there and met my best friend Jenn, watched Da Bears every year on NFL ticket and had so many fun New Year’s parties. We got Crash (my black lab we lost in 2020) and brought Roxy back there after Montana…had my first psychosis and almost died there, numerous surgeries and hospitalizations, got the call my brother was in a motorcycle accident and almost died and one of the very best parts was living across the street from the Hagberg’s…so many wonderful memories made with them! Especially will always remember Larry’s example of prayer—he has been with the Lord for many years now but Nancy has continued the work of translating the Bible into the Mayo people group language in Deep South Mexico…..anyway I have digressed down memory lane lol…….This house we built and got to add the fireplace and tub which I used so many times and we lived in our backyard. We lost Roxy there and we got the Swine flu (which also earned me an ambulance ride and another very close to dying experience) which quickened the progression of my PCD and then Covid this year. We also had fun New Year’s parties with MarioKart tournaments and many sweet times of fellowship with our GCC family and we celebrated our 20th anniversary……it’s been quite the ride these 20 years but God has been oh so faithful and WILL continue to be!……Last minute Sarah and Julie H came over yesterday morning and knocked out a LOT of things so we can officially see the floor in the two main rooms we are living in! My rough night last night was when I got up just after midnight to turn my IV off I ended up throwing up quite a bit…and so much so that I coughed up blood in my mucus….it can be from a couple things—I could have burst some capillaries throwing up so hard/much and/or it can be from the infection. I just need to watch what I cough up today and if it goes away it was just capillaries, but if it doesn’t then I’ll need to let my team know and go from there……the other big news is we have decided to delay my OB surgery until after vacation in May…I’m going to my pre-op appointment on the 1st to talk to the doc in person on if he is comfortable doing surgery on me or not and we’ll go from there as far as if I decide to have my surgery at UAB with a doc there—I’m thinking that’s more the way to go with how compromised my lungs are at this point so I’m there where they know what to do if something were to happen during surgery or after. Please pray for wisdom and perseverance to get through these antibiotics on Wednesday—They are making me more and more nauseous with every dose—my body just hates them at this point. Just finished treatments and my IV so gonna run and enjoy a lazy Saturday with my hubby. 🥰
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